Click Here if there is no nav bar at the left

BRUSHES WITH BEATLES
Tony F., Los Angeles California

Back in '92 I was a music director for a santa Barbara radio station. Ringo just released "Time Takes Time" (better than most Ringo cd's). I was invited to a special Ringo party Arsenio Hall was hosting at his Paramount studio. I had broken my leg at a station promotion two weeks before the big night. I was the only handicapped fan there, and I made the rounds hobbling between Todd Rundgren and Burton Cummings before I was invited upstairs -where a special Jim Ladd interview was happening. Brian Wilson and Ringo's wife Barbara were hanging out. I was real excited as my photo was taken with each of them. My excitement turned to utter dispair as my promised photo with the Ex-Beatlewas aborted. You see, I asked Ringo for a quick autograph before our picture was taken. He stormed off. I pleaded to him "I've got a broken leg!" He barked back-as he was storming off-"then you should be resting it!"

Six months later, I was invited backstage at the Greek in LA. He didn't remember me and was totally cool. We were instructed not to ask for autographs before we got backstage(maybe thats why he was cool?) The record company promo lady(who has passed on since then) was very sympathitic to my needs and felt so bad about the Paramount party experience-she made sure I got a second chance. I got my photo finally with a

THE NOT SO INCREDIBLE HULK
Michael L, Salon Ohio

A few months ago, I tracked down the original Hulkster, Lou Ferrigno, at a sci-fi/comics show in Columbus, Ohio. I wanted the big green monster to sign an old MAD magazine which contained a parody of the Hulk TV show. As I approached Lou's table, I immediately noticed that no one was waiting to get his autograph. As I crept nervously forward with my old MAD in my hands, I noticed that Lou looked bored and a bit tired. Maybe he had a busy evening fighting bad guys the night before? (Or maybe he was a bit hung over from partying with the Playboy babes at a nearby table?) Undaunted, I asked Mr.Ferrigno to sign my MAD. Lou stated that he wasn't allowed to sign anything with the Marvel Hulk character due to copyright problems. I explained that his wasn't a Marvel piece but a MAD magazine parody. Lou looked confused, but then a lightbulb went off in the green guy's head (maybe the ghost of Bill Bixby was helping him see the light). Lou said that if I bought one of his Hulk photos for $20 he would sign my MAD and the photo. I looked over the various photographs on the table. Most look like they were shot after the series had ended. The Hulk seemed to have very hairy arms in the photos. Did the TV Hulk have such hairy biceps? Anyway, I picked out one photo and handed my $20 bucks to Lou. He signed the MAD and the photo. I mumbled a few more things to Lou but his attention was elsewhere. I think he was checking out Dawn Wells, Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island at the next table. Anyway, it was time to meet the Playboy babes.

TIPSY WITH TENUTA
Amy A, New York, New York

Several years ago I attended a Judy Tenuta show at a club in Milwaukee. At the time Judy was a big deal in the Midwest, and the club really went all out, even creating a drink in Judy's honor. The drink , dubbed "The Goddess," was the size of a small fishbowl, bright pink in color, and loaded with umbrellas and fruit on skewers. I was only about twenty-one and still amused by the concept of theme drinks, so I made sure to order one when we got to the club. Little did I know that the two warm-up comedians who performed before Judy went on would be so bad that I would end up ordering SIX "Goddesses" just to get through their sets.

Judy did her act and was magnificent (I think -- I wasn't remembering much by this point). Afterwards, my date and I joined the throng backstage to get the Goddess's autograph. When it was our turn, I thoroughly embarrassed my date and cracked up the people around us by kicking off my shoes to point out that Judy and I were the same height. I then pleaded for her to sign an umbrella from one of my many drinks. While she was writing, a drunken flash of inspiration hit. I leaned forward, looked into her eyes, and profoundly uttered "Judy, YOU ARE MY SPOKESMODEL."

To this day I have no idea what I meant. Neither did my escort. And neither, I'm sure, did Judy.